In a search for some particular letters, I found a few from a male artist, a painter, I knew in SF in the 80s.
His work was almost like cartoons... black lines, bright, flat colors, figurative, strange poses... but he probably had more in common with Max Beckmann (certainly not a bad thing).
Anyway, in one of the letters, he says "It's interesting that we are more in communication now that you are in New York than when you lived here. I wonder why that is..?"
I wonder if I ever told him why. Doubtful.
When we first met, he wanted to draw me. From the start, he wanted me naked, but I did not do that. But I liked being over at his house because he was a real character and a painter and because he had a great art book library. We had some marvelous conversations about art.
He had mentioned that he was house-sitting a gorgeous flat off Grant Avenue - North Beach. North Beach was always my favorite area and I visited several times a week the entire time I lived in that town. So of course I visited him.
He'd been drinking (nothing strange about that per se) and eventually lunged at me, with big, open mouth - really aggressively. I hate those kind of kisses anyway, which assume you are something to be sucked up and violently swallowed, but I really hate them as any kind of initial introduction. And I had never shown any of that kind of interest to this crusty old pirate of an artist.
Then he calls the next day and says: "Uh, what happened last night?" He doesn't remember. I would call that very convenient - mouth wide open with the eyes wide shut!
He then goes on to say I am making a big deal over nothing, to which I said: "Maybe I can talk to your wife about that. I wonder what kind of deal she thinks it is?" That shut him up.
So, yeah, maybe the distance of 3000 miles would let us really talk about art and art making, instead of being pounced on. I could never be alone with him after that, whether he didn't "remember" it or not.
I googled him - to no avail. It's amazing how many people, really creative people, disappearred.