Sunday, December 2, 2007

the inevitable truth

Bruce Guenther was the moderator at the Avant Blog panel the other night. At one point he observed that some blogs were the personal view, developed out of the feminist-journaling tradition. This thread was not expanded upon but I’ve thought about it ever since.

Basically, this tradition comprises of saying things to yourself that you cannot say elsewhere. And we are not just talking snarking or bitching here! Some of it is art dreams, goals, visions, invalidated responses. It’s like you finally have your delayed response – next day, next year - or twenty years later. I’ve got 136 notebooks full of ‘em.

Many are filled with conversations, a record of what was said. But much more of it is a record of what was not said. I am blown away at how much can stay inevitably on the back burner, rumbling.

In a way, art is like this. If you keep track of it all, the interests and ideas, they resurface time and time again and will force themselves out eventually. One artist in an interview had said that she was not wild at how students wanted to rush to “a conclusion.” I agree that there is no need to rush - without the dramas and twists and turns, life would be dull.

But it is amazing to me how many truths were inevitable and you couldn’t beat them out of me if you tried. And lord knows some tried. Some things that you want to do are not about want at all – they are like inherit factors in your DNA. This is not just about content either; it goes for aesthetics too.

10 comments:

m. said...

i think you are circling so close to real truth here E that it cannot be pinned down by words.

Carolyn said...

Eva,
Eloquently put...you manage to put your finger on what I cannot. Thanks again for coming and of course for all your hospitality while I was in Portland!

Anonymous said...

Thanks.

Yet I am not so sure I could really put my finger on it, because the reasons why one doesn't say what they think are complex and in this case, beyond being "polite."

Some people thrive on being the irritant, or at least on butting heads. But many women especially have been programmed to not do this, to more than get along - to please. And that is a big crux of the matter. The journal was the place where one is relieved of that responsibility.

E

m. said...

i guess this was the part i was talking about not being able to get any much closer to with words as it's a skittish but powerful concept:

"Some things that you want to do are not about want at all – they are like inherit factors in your DNA. This is not just about content either; it goes for aesthetics too."

what i do (think i) know to say SURROUNDING it, is that it shows when artists of any kind ignore these factors and aren't truthful with themselves about their own art...i.e. what their true subject matter is, how they should be tackling it, to what degree their inner critic should be involved, and so on and so forth...

you can feel it, they can feel it...it's a damn mess, as forlorn in its manifestation as the artist is likely to be...

Anonymous said...

Maybe this goes back to the discussion in the last post about listening to opinion, advice or taking a poll. For every question, there are too many answers. It can be easy to hear them all and then your own are drowned out in the roar.

...Case in point: already someone I don't really know had a long take on my installation now up at Augen. The "Why Didn't You" question came along...

oi very.... already. One is tempted to give a long answer, which sounds like La Defense. But several others said oh Jesus, just say Fuck off.

I am not sure that is quite the right approach though.
:)

E

m. said...

well, do what you like of course (i did so like mcd's quote regarding opines), but if you do happen to be listening to external blahdeyblah, then know from my vantage point regarding the show you have the energy about you of someone who knows she is shooting straight from the inner core, so to hell with external blahdeyblah...especially if it is neither supportive nor constructive. if it's not hitting said viewer quite right, maybe it's their inner core that's off...or maybe they just have different vis art taste buds...who cares...? you are doing what you do because you cannot NOT do it. and that's that, non?

you have some time now to really focus. don't let anyone distract you from your core with promises of validation if only you stray down some other path of somebody else's making...

(and blahdeyblahdeyblahdey down the road i go...not like you don't know this stuff already...)

so, for the record, i vote for fuck off. even if it's just a mental one...

or were you talking about me? in which case, i vote for a verbal one ::giggle::

m. said...

(somebody OBVIOUSLY has to shut me up.)

Anonymous said...

Don't shut up! Heck, I can have a conversation with adults while I watch my grandchild today...

...and I think it is completely about someone else's path when you hear the Why-Didn't-You.

(You know, just for kicks: Why Didn't You make it bigger, smaller, longer, rounder, brighter, on wood, on paper, on film, in video and with a big bowl of beans we can get full of?

E

m. said...

come to think of it, E, why aren't you doing video-based installation art? it's all the rage these days, i hear...

WTF do people who ask questions like this expect to get as an answer, exactly...?!?!

if you had been driven to do what they were proposing no doubt you would have done it, right? it's not like you're a gal who's afraid to experiment or who's lacking for skills in all kinds of unexpected areas...

so...it would seem that their line of questioning is pretty dysfunctional...

and maybe that is the semi-diplomatic version of the 'fuck off' answer...'your question is a bit dysfunctional, don't you think...?'

'feckless' also works...i've always loved that word...

but then, 'diplomatic' and 'polite' are the very social systems that this post originally set out to explore and perhaps explode in some manner...

Anonymous said...

One could wear a button at one's opening which says:
Don't ask.
;)